Star Bores. How not to do a themed safety video. (Sorry United)

Great news! United Airlines has just released a themed Star Wars safety video. Jumping on the Star Wars bandwagon (which already includes Virgin Atlantic, ANA and Latam, to name just a few) the carrier is celebrating the launch of the Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker by releasing a safety video, special livery and Mileage Plus Exclusives.

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A Star Wars safety video? That’s potentially the epitome of Themed Safety Videos. You can imagine R2D2 highlighting the exit signs, or C3PO struggling with a lifejacket. Chewy getting angry with someone smoking in the toilets.

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Sadly none of that happens, and within 30 seconds of the video is filled with rather flat performances from the cabin crew, who are clearly green screened in front of rather promotional Star Wars promotional content. It barely references the movie, instead focussing on the franchise and merchandising surrounding one of the largest movie epilogues to grace our screen.

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The safety video takes an awkward, embarrassing turn when CEO Oscar Munoz takes centre stage, with what looks a rather pained kid, who is probably imagining any street cred he once had fast disappearing. Whatsmore this safety video means its now off limits for any carrier that actually wanted to bring the franchise to life in a clever, intelligent way (we’re looking at you ANA and Turkish Airlines).

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While there are too many awkward moments to truly catalogue, and the cast obviously took direction from the acting coach that brought us the young Anakin Skywalker (sorry Star Wars), it’s not their fault. These are cabin crew, who aren’t actors and seem to be under duress, possibly with a lightsaber pointed at them.

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But the good news, is there is a new livery which actually we like. It’s an all black livery on a 737-800 featuring X-Wings and the lightsaber of Rey. Let’s hope this 4-minute safety video doesn’t last too long onboard, and we return to business as usual. Help us United, you were our only hope.

 

 

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